Scene 1: A party, maybe a baby shower, is going on, with two teenage boys -- one might be Brandon H. Lee -- saying "I don't think I'll ever get used to that" and somebody yelling about Anthony eating all the cannolis. She complains that he just flew in to kill someone, and has stayed for six months. So this is a crime family?
Out in the living room, a super-femme guy grabs some kind of beverage that looks like a jar of molasses, while his boyfriend complains that he's a drunk.
Wait -- Super-Femme Johnny is the father -- Hired Killer Anthony asks if he wants a boy or a girl. He doesn't care; he's so femme that he can relate to either.
Uh-oh, somebody delivered a box that's ticking! One of their enemies, maybe Silver or Kreese, must have sent a bomb!
Back in the kitchen, everyone hears an explosion: it was pink paint for the gender-reveal!
Wait -- super-femme guy is Johnny, William Zabka from the movie. He got swishy in his old age. And his boyfriend must be...Danny, Ralph Macchio!
Scene 2: In East Asia, a militarized dojang in a sculpted estate like a Hollywood drug lord. Enemy Kreese -- Martin Kove, still sneering -- brags about the discipline of his ninjas. Yoon, his best student, can break a board, but Sung, the rebel, can chop it in half. For his back-talk, he is assigned to clean the toilet.
Contrast with Femme Guy's more easy-going dojo. One of his students asks how, if they're so easy-going, they can compete in the big tournament "They're not. They're going to get their asses kicked." But it's all about having fun, right?
Meanwhile, Femme Guy is coaching the dojo students. Boyfriend comes in. Femme Guy tells him that his daughter fights like a pussy. No way they'll win the big tournament if the girls can't get their edge on. Boyfriend is not happy with this sexism, and tells him to get them ready anyhow.
Scene 3: Boyfriend is packing up Mr. Miyagi's stuff so the Assassin can move into his room. Moving the bed, he finds a secret compartment containing a mysterious chest!
More karate cock after the break
