It Ends With Us showed up in my Netflix recommendations. Obviously a post-Apocalyptic movie about the last generation of humanity struggling for survival. The icon shows an elegantly dressed woman talking through her fingers at an elegantly-dressed man, but that must be before society falls apart.
Scene 1: The woman who talks through her fingers in the icon is driving through an autumnal road to a quaint New England town with a sign saying Plethora, Maine. Maybe the human race goes extinct due to a vampire outbreak.
She stops in front of one of those gigantic "middle class" homes, and hugs and cries with the woman inside. Geez, she's wearing like a gold ring the size of a baseball on each finger. How will she stake vampires that way?
Wait -- according to IMDB, this isn't about vampires. It's a drama about domestic abuse! Why such a misleading title, almost identical to The Last of Us, about survivors of a zombie Apocalypse?
I'm still watching. I never see dramas, so this will be an adventure in snarky comments. And it will be fun to watch a movie produced by, for, and about straight people, like going undercover in a foreign country.
The lady in the house tells the Finger-Talking Woman -- who has the ridiculous name Lily Bloom -- that this is her father's funeral (thanks for letting her know!), then criticizes her for taking a job out of town, so she couldn't be by his side every second. Oh, and she informs Lily that she is her mother. She acts so oddly that I thought she was the housekeeper. Why would the wife of the dead guy say "your father's funeral" instead of using his name?
Scene 2: Lily Bloom goes up to her room -- huge, cluttered with girly stuff like pictures of fairies and a ballerina music box. She brought nothing with her when she moved out?
Mom follows her upstairs to say "He really loved you." Yeah, that's what all abusers say. "At the funeral, you're going to have to say five things that you loved about him." Um...er...he was...um...
Left: Dad Kevin McKidd, in 1996.
Time for the funeral, at city hall, super-crowded -- Dad was the mayor, also a husband and a father. Give him a medal! Time for Lily's eulogy, but she can't think of anything, so she steps down from the podium. Murmur, murmur.
Scene 3: Back in Boston, Lily sits on the roof of a high-rise apartment building, no doubt planning to jump, but The Man of Her Dreams, Ryle (Justin Baldoni, top photo) bursts in, angry, kicking over chairs. He joins her on the ledge to discuss how much he hates maraschino cherries. She wants to know if he is upset over "a woman...or a man." Acknowledging that gay people exist! But I'll bet that's all the representation we'll see.
They exchange job information, which I understand is common for straight people in their first meeting: Florist, neurosurgeon. Guess which Lily is.
Their falling-in-love conversation takes up the next seven minutes of screen time, but they don't make a date for later. Are you sure there won't be any vampires?
Scene 4: Adolescent Lily in her bed,putting flowers into a scrap book. Gratuitous leg shot as she gets up, brushes her teeth, writes in her diary, and puts on her starter set of huge, clunky rings -- well, she couldn't write in her diary with them on, could she?
Looking out the window, she sees a young man sneaking out of the abandoned house next door and sorting through the garbage for food.
He gets on her bus! She gazes in Boy-of-Her-Dreams longing. Lily's going to have two abusive boyfriends?
It takes about five minutes of screen time for her to arrange a meeting and get his story: "My Mom kicked me out...because..." You're gay? Nope: because she doesn't like him interfering with her boyfriends "beating the shit out of her." They beat him up, too, but he can't mention it because he's macho.
Lily invites him home to shower and change clothes, and watch Ellen., with a gigantic bowl of popcorn between them. A lesbian exists in their world. He stares at her clunker rings; she criticizes the outfit that she gave him. So, for straight people, is criticism like flirting?
Scene 5: The adult Lily heads toward the store she's leasing for her new flower shop, while Mom tries to discourage her on the phone: she saw on the internet that "45% of all flowers die." Just 45% ?
As Lily is cleaning out the old stuff, a woman named Alyssa comes in to ask about the "help wanted" sign. It's leftover from the previous owner, but Lily might need some help soon: "I'm opening a flower shop."
"Ugh! Never mind, I hate flower shops. They're depressing, full of dying things."
"You're hired!" So you get a job by criticizing the job.
Montage of the two bonding over cleaning out stuff, painting, and so on.
Alyssa's husband Marshall (Hasan Minaj) calls -- darn, I thought she was a lesbian. He's across the street with her brother, watching the Big Game, but she drafts him into helping out.
Ulp: Alyssa's brother is -- Ryle the neurosurgeon!
They gaze at each other for about three minutes of screen time. Don't straight people, like, talk? Finally Alyssa and Marshall get tired of it and suggest a double date.
Cut to a karaoke bar, with Ryle and Lily trying to ignore their mutual attraction -- they're single adults, what's the problem? -- and Alyssa and Marshall aggressively pushing them together -- they've known Lily for like three hours, why do they care? After about ten minute of screen time, they kiss.
Scene 6: Adolescent Lily on a picnic with the Abused Guy, whose name is Atlas (Alex Neustaedter). The Greek god who is holding up the world, not the book of maps.
Left: Atlas's dick
They discuss Lily's Dad beating up her mom. In other news: Atlas will be joining the Marines, so they can't continue their relationship.
Scene 7: BFF Alyssa's birthday party, at her gigantic palace, with a living room bigger than a hotel atrium. Around a thousand people there, all heterosexual couples. Why does she want to work in a flower shop, again?
Lily runs into Ryle the Neurosurgeon again, and tells him, "Stop flirting with me." Then they go up to his room and have sex. Mixed signals, lady.
Scene 8: In the morning, Lily walks the six miles down to a kitchen big enough to prepare meals for the population of a medium-sized city. Apprised that she has spent the night, Alyssa cautions that Ryle the Neurosurgeon goes through women like candy mints. He's ok for a hookup, but if you're looking for a serious relationship, forget it. Then why were you so aggressively pushing them together?
More after the break
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