Gemstones Episode 1.3, Continued: Gideon acts like a woman, Kelvin acts like a man, and chubby guys show their d*cks

 

Previous: Episode 1.3: Kelvin outs himself, Scotty shoves a wiener into Gideon's face, and Jesse gets it all wrong.

God offers one thing:  Eli and Baby Billy attend a service at Locust Grove Baptist Church. where Rev. Seasons preaches.  The sermon: when people pray, they're really asking God to give them stuff.  But God only offers one thing: His love. Yawn -- Baby Billy is bored.  His church offers razzle-dazzle.

Later, at an after-church potluck, Baby Billy tries to mediate between Eli and Rev. Seasons, but it doesn't work: "Get the hell out of my church.  I got nothing to say to you."  Eli counters that he's been spreading lies about the Gemstones.  

Then: "What do you want, Eli?  You've got everything, and you want more.  Why are you so hungry?"  Eli responds by throwing a baked potato through a church window. Baby Billy is here the voice of reason.

As Eli stomps off, followed by a conciliatory Baby Billy, Rev. Seasons makes a throat-cutting gesture at some of his congregants.  We will see their dicks later.

Later, Baby Billy argues with Eli: he has to live in Locust Grove, and Eli is out there making him enemies.  "Well, what could I do about it?" Um...not throw a baked potato through his window?  Eli, increasingly unsympathetic, dismisses Baby Billy as a "two-bit con-man."  He never cared about the family, not even his sister Aimee-Leigh.  

Baby Billy calls him a "righteous Gemstone dick" and quits the Locust Grove job. 

The Family Dinner:  Next, Gideon goes to work for Martin, ostensibly to learn church operations, but really looking for a new way to steal a million dollars. Jesse disapproves, hurt that they decided on this new job without consulting him.

 Later, the family gathers for a "welcome home" dinner for Gideon at Jesse and Amber's house.  

This is the only time that we will see the family here; later family dinners will be held at Jason's Steak House. Notice that Kelvin sits on the left side, between Pontius and Gideon, as if he is a kid.

Gideon is discussing his stunt work: because of his slim frame, he stunt-doubles for women a lot: it's called "wigging."  Jesse disapproves of him "pretending to be a woman." Amber defends him: it's just for the stunt, because "he's very manly," not feminine, not gay.  Notice Kelvin's reaction: he does not like this conversation at all.  He keeps his head down, worried that someone will apply it to him.

But the industry is moving toward having women stunting for women, so no more wigging.  Jesse mocks him: my son is sad "cause he can't pretend to be a woman for money anymore."  He's really pushing the hegemonic masculinity here: behavior that men are expected to engage in, and punished if they fail: being important/ in charge, aggressive, stoic, politically and socially powerful, muscular, and heterosexual.

BJ thinks that "representation of marginalized peoples is a big deal," so if a script calls for a woman to fall off a building, a woman should do the stunting.  Amber disagrees, promoting stereotypic gender polarization: "only men should jump off buildings."

Finally Kelvin has had enough, and changes the subject: "Wasn't Baby Billy supposed to be here tonight?"

The party devolves into a fight between Jesse and his son Pontius. He blames Pontius's bad behavior on Gideon leaving: "Actions have consequences."

Kelvin's Basketball:  After things calm down, Judy and Kelvin find Jesse in the back yard, crying, the super-masculine guy exhibiting "feminine" emotion.  He asks if they have come to make fun of him.  Judy: "Well, Kelvin has."  

Notice that Kelvin is carrying a basketball. Where did he get it?  Did he bring it with him, as a "welcome home" gift for his adult nephew?  Did he pick it up from an off-camera basketball court?

This is the only time in the series that Kelvin exhibits an interest in any team sport, or any athletic activity other than acrobatics and bodybuilding.  I wonder if he is trying to project a stereotypic masculine image in response to the talk about "acting like a woman."  

Dicks after the break

Jason Marsden: Second hottest of the Short Guy Brigade, Steve Smith, Max Goof, and Robin. With Marsden dicks

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"Human Discoveries" Episode 1.1: Paleolithic hunks invent underwear. With nude Zac Efron and Milo Ventimiglia

 

Human Discoveries (2019) is an animated series (available on Facebook) about a group of Paleolithic humans who discover things like fire, relationships, and underwear.  Zac Efron stars as Gary, a loveable nebbish looking for love, community, and a way to avoid getting his butt bitten. Adam Devine appears in Episode 1 as the leader of an elk community.  I reviewed the first episode, to check for gay characters or subtexts.

Scene 1:  Ugg (Paul Scheer), a bare-chested caveman, comes running out of some bushes. I'm a fan already. 

He and several other muscle guys run through the jungle, chased by a giant sabre-toothed tiger. They reach a cliff, and have to jungle-vine over it.  Bart, doesn't make it; the tiger starts eating him.  The guys make excuses to not save him.

Scene 2: Jane complains about the gender-inequality of their society: the women have to weave baskets and gather fruit, while the men get to fight the tiger that's been preying on them.

At a community meeting, Ugh admits that the tiger is still out there.  Jane raises her concerns about gender equality; Gary (Zac Efron) agrees -- why not have everyone do the job they're best at?  His  roommate Trog (Lamorne Morris, left) thinks that he just wants to impress Jane. 

Meanwhile, the elk are discussing their predicament as prey to the humans. Leader Elk (Adam Devine) complains: "Why are they cared of the tiger but not us? We weigh a thousand pounds, and have spears growing out of our heads."  

Scene 3: Night.  Gary and Jane flirt, and almost kiss, but they are interrupted by the camp guard being eaten ("Why is it starting with my feet?). 

Back in the cave, Gary disapproves of the skirts they wear while hunting -- too easy for his dick to be injured -- so he sews in some nuderwear (nice butt shot)  Trog disapproves: how can they poop with that thing on?

I know this isn't supposed to be historically accurate, but I can't help pointing out that no one in the Paleolithic Era actually lived in caves.  They lived in tents, and in some regions huts made of mammoth bones.  

Scene 4: The men go off to fight the tiger, and the women are assigned to weave baskets.  Jane starts a rebellion: they're going to fight, too. But who's going to weave the baskets?  Jane appoints an old guy who is a closet basket-weaver.  "No more hiding!" he exclaims, displaying the baskets he has hiding in "the closet."

In the wild, Gary brags about the comfort and support his new genital hammock offers.  Two of the hunters, Tristain and Bog (James Adomian, Sam Richardson) are a canonical couple: later, when the group discovers "relationships," they point out that they've been together for years. But here they just display some enthusiasm for each other's accomplishments.  

Scene 5:  The women dig holes and build scarecrows with spikes in the head, hoping that the tiger will attack and impale itself.  But when the tiger arrives, chasing the men, it is not impaled.  It approaches Gary -- who poops his pants, distracting the tiger long enough for Ugg-- to spear it.

Unfortunately, the women were so busy building the scarecrows and digging  holes that they forgot to gather any fruit to eat. So Ugg decrees that the gender-polarized work assignments will remain.

More after the break