The blurb of The Parenting (2025), on MAX, made my jaw drop: "Boyfriends Josh and Rohan plan a weekend getaway to introduce their parents, only to discover that their rental is home to a 400-year-old poltergeist."
So the draw here is the poltergeist? Being gay is perfectly ordinary, not worth commenting on? I'm in.
Scene 1: 1983. A crying woman calls her teenage son to watch the series finale of MASH, then pours a glop of disgusting French dressing over a salad. Wait --he can't be Josh or Rohan, unless they are in their 60s. He must be one of the parents.
The son doesn't want to call his sister, Allie, to dinner, so Mom says "I hate you kids." She goes upstairs to knock on the sister's door and yell, but no answer. Is the sister dead in there?
Smoke detector, burnt pizza -- and a monster hand shoots out and grabs Mom! Growl, scream. Son tries to investigate, is grabbed, too! Growl, scream. Daughter Allie is next. I thought they were going to be major characters.
Scene 2: 2025. Rohan (Nik Dodani) and Josh (Brandon Flynn) are driving through a cold wilderness with their dog, discussing how excited they are to be spending the weekend with both sets of parents at the mansion they rented, so everyone can get to know each other. Their first meeting? Maybe start with dinner. Rohan' notes that his parents are very demanding, so every detail has to be perfect.
Other talk is rather disquieting: a cat with a human butt, being horny for a house. I know this is a step forward in LGBT representation, but does it have to be so gross?
Scene 3: They arrive at the house, love it. kiss -- one of those "mwah" kisses. Brenda, the creepy caretaker, explains that the house has been deserted since the previous family died in a fire 40 years ago. The new owners decided to renovate and rent it out for tourists. "Wait -- are you gay?"
Um...what?
"I'm thinking you're gay."
"Um...yes. Is that ok?" You should definitely check that before renting a place. You don't want to be screamed at, or forced into a room with twin beds.
"That'll work." WTF, lady? She leads them inside, chatting about the upcoming Worm Moon, ignoring the circle etched into the floor. The wifi password is: ego sum tibi artha, "I am for you, Artha."
In other news: Sarah the dog sitter is in their apartment. She warns Rohan not to propose to Josh: too much for one weekend. She accidentally texts the same message to Josh, har har.
Rohan says "I have something I want to ask." Uh-oh, this is it, the Big Question. Psych! It's "Don't tell my parents that you were fired. They're perfectionists." Har-har.
Scene 4: Rohan's uptight dad and judgmental wife arrive ((Brian Cox, Logan Roy in Succession, top photo; and Edie Falco, Carmela in The Sopranos). "Trip ok?" "Yes." Why aren't they South Asian? MAX only wanted actors from its series?
Left: Brian's butt in 1980. See below for Brian's butt in 2025.
They haven't met Josh yet, so they grudgingly shake hands. Then the dog rushes up and sniffs at Mom's private parts.
Josh: "We're beginning to think she's a lesbian. She loves the smell of..." Oy vey, this is painful to watch. First, a lesbian dog would be attracted to female dogs, not people. Second, why would you ever, ever reference the private parts of your boyfriend's mother?
Dad complements Josh's physique and asks about his job. They prevaricate.
Left: Josh's physique
Scene 4: Unpacking in their room, Rohan lays into Josh for the "loves the smell of..." comment, and Josh lays into Rohan for having a dad who...um...complements his physique?
Rohan is stressed because he never introduced his parents to a boyfriend before. So you do it for a whole weekend? Josh suggests de-stressing with some edibles. "No drugs. I forbid it!"
They continue arguing out into the hall. "And no more p*ssy jokes in front of my mother."
"Fine. But if your mom can't appreciate a good p*ssy joke..." He swings open the bathroom door...guess who is on the toilet?
First of all, in a mansion, the guest bedrooms should have private bathrooms. Second, bathroom doors can be locked. Third, I just saw the p*ssy of Carmela Soprano, but 10 to 1 we won't be seeing Logan Roy's d*ck.
More after the break. Caution: Explicit
Scene 5: Josh's parents, easy-going Dad and ditzy Mom, arrive (Dean Norris, Hank Schrader on Breaking Bad, and Lisa Kudrow, Phoebe on Friends). They complain that it's cold outside and the house is too big; rather, Phoebe says "Big enough much?" which sounds like something Chandler would say. At least they've met Rohan.
They meet Rohan's parents. Phoebe's character is named Liddy, which starts a fight.
Carmela: "Short for Lydia?"
Phoebe: "It's actually short for Elizabeth."
Carmela: "Wouldn't that be Libby?" Just let her have her name, lady.
Then Hank bores everyone with a discussion of the traffic on the way here.
Cut to the creepy caretaker lady playing with a snowglobe of the house. It starts to snow for real! Does that snowglobe have an off switch?
Scene 6: Breakfast in the sun room -- no, they're just discussing where to have breakfast tomorrow morning. The two moms are left alone to be awkward. They exchange career information: high school teacher, receptionist, architect, psychologist. Carmela disapproves of Josh's aspiration to become a songwriter. "Sad songs," Phoebe butts in.
Later, Logan bursts into the guys' bedroom. Josh tells him that his room is down the hall: "Unless you want this room. We'll totally switch. We havent' touched the bed. For sleeping, I mean... Rohan likes it firm, and I'll take it however I can get..." OMG, just shut up. He eats a lot of cannabis gummies, then goes downstairs to cook dinner while high.
I'm going to fast forward through the cringy dinner to Josh and Rohan in bed, apologizing to each other for the mishaps. They hear thumping, and argue over whose parents are "having a good time." Meanwhile, Rohan's parents argue over whether they should say something about the noise of "se xual interplay," and Josh's parents pretend that it's just the pipes. What's actually happening: a person with their eyes gouged out is upstairs, struggling against the bonds.
A knock on the door. The dogsitter from back home has arrived for some reason. But they're out of bedrooms, so they give her the couch. Only three bedrooms in a mansion?
The wifi is out, so Logan goes down to the basement and tries to fix it. A monster grabs him.
Scene 7: Breakfast for real. Hank tells everyone about how last night's dinner gave him explosive diarrhea. Logan is acting strange; he grabs a knife and slashes Josh's wrist, then apologizes -- it slipped. Then his arm! They call for paramedics, but there is no cellular service.
The dogs are yapping, which annoys Logan, so he screams like a demon and makes a large bureau topple over, smashing one of them. Quick, contact Does a Dog Die.
Scene 8: As Rohan is blaming Josh for giving his dad champaigne and therefore causing the accident, Dad rushes in, naked, and yells "What are you crying about now, you f*king queers?" I think he means the old-fashioned, homophobic term.
The others start retching, and one or the surviving dogs gets red demon-eyes.
Scene 9: The dogsitter, who went to nursing school for a few days, tries to stitch Josh up, while Rohan yells at her for giving away his plans to propose. Shouldn't you be concerned over his injury? More arguments, and Rohan throws the engagement ring into a snow bank, then tries to dig it out again with his bare hands.
Meanwhile, up in his bedroom, Logan asks the demon (not a poltergeist), "Why are you doing this to me?" It responds: "Because you're a weak old man. You're lucky you won't be around to see me eat your family."
Scene 10: Downstairs in the library, Josh and Rohan see Linda Blair from The Exorcist doing disgusting backflips in the corner. She grabs Josh; Rohan stands back, not trying to help. But when Mom turns on the lights, she vanishes.
Meanwhile, the dogsitter, snooping in the attic, finds a box marked "Allie's Stuff," and photographs of the dead family from the 1980s. A dead boy in a football jersey appears and growls.
I'm out of space, so I'll stop there. One spoiler: The creepy caretaker asked if they were gay because the demon is "from a different generation," that is, homophobic, and might not want to possess a gay guy.
Beefcake: Logan Roy in a towel. Rohan and Josh sleep fully clothed.
Bonus Brandon Flynn's d*ck (left) and butt (below)
Heterosexism: When the thumping begins, everyone assumes that it's the parents, not Rohan and Josh
My Grade: Plot that was already cliched in the 1980s, characters who have no idea how social interaction works, and way too much gross out humor. Who decided that demons should enter and leave their hosts in long strings that look like snot?
C-
See also:
Miles Heizer: Gay and nearly-gay roles, a real-life girlfriend and several boyfriends. Including Brandon Flynn.
No Good Deed: Four lesbians, a gay realtor, a gay son, and Phoebe from "Friends"
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