Rob Lowe: Nude photos of James Dumont's classmate, the Brat Pack prettyboy and bad guy with a dick.

Rob Lowe got his start as an androgynous prettyboy in Brat Pack classics like The Outsiders (1983), The Hotel New  Hampshire  (1984), and St. Elmo's Fire (1985).   

He played a teenage operator who buddy-bonds with the naive Andrew McCarthy in Class (1983).

He did the "Yank skewers the pretentions of stuffy Brits" thing in Oxford Blues (1984).

In Youngblood (1986), he gave us not only a butt shot, but a revealing near-frontal.  

Millions of heterosexual girls and gay boys had his posters on their bedroom walls. Corey Haim's Sam had one in The Lost Boys (1987), leading to widespread speculation that Sam was gay.

.We all figured that Rob was gay.  Why else would he infuse his movies with  so much buddy-bonding amid the 1980s homophobic slurs?  Why else would half the guys in West Hollywood, including my friend Mario, claim to have dated him?  

Why else would he show his butt so often?  

Then something happened that changed Rob Lowe's life and career forever.  During the Democratic National Convention in 1988, Rob and his friend Justin Morrow filmed themselves having sex with two women. It was blurry and grainy, but you could see Rob fully aroused.  (Photos after the break) 

The scandal marked him as  dangerous, deviant, and overtly sexual.  You knew things about him that you didn't about any other celebrity.

Hollywood insiders figured that his career was over, but Rob managed to capitalize on his new aura of danger in Bad Influence (1990),  luring a yuppie (James Spader) onto the Dark Side while showing us his butt again.  And in 

The Dark Backward (1991), a dark comedy about a pair of garbage collectors who want to become standup comics.  

He starred in a BBC adaption of Tennessee Williams' Suddenly Last Summer, about a decadent gay guy whose "perversion" leads to a gruesome and ridiculous death.

By 1994, Rob had bounced back enough to play Nick Andros, one of the "good guy" survivors of a plague that destroys the world, in an adaption of Stephen King's The Stand  (1994).  

He appeared in  comedies like Wayne's World and Austin Powers, murder mysteries (often as the murderer), and tragedies. But he kept his infamous penis under wraps, except for a nude scene in I Melt with You (2011).

Today Rob is a fixture on television, for audiences who never heard of his sex tape, or don't care.  He has starred in The Grinder, Code Black, Wild Bill, 911 Lone Star, and Unstable.  No gay characters, but we still can see an occasional butt.

Ready for the sex tape dicks?  Warning: they are explicit

James Dumont's teen idol career, with Tim Matheson, Rob Lowe, and Andrew McCarthy

If you know James Dumont as a middle aged bear, you may be surprised to find that he began his acting career in 1980, at the age of fifteen.  

He got his first headshot courtesy of his uncle that year, and used it to get an uncredited role as "Kid Dancing in the Street" in The Blues Brothers.

Here's another 1980 shot. Definite Tiger Beat fave rave vibe.  He might have been another Shaun Cassidy (top photo: Shaun for comparison).

In 1982, James got some more head and body shots for his acting/modeling career.  I'm thinking the rural craze, someone who belongs on The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie.  

Instead he got two more uncredited roles: In Listen to Your Heart (1983), a romcom starring Tim Matheson, left, and Kate Jackson.

Tim's butt after the break

"Partner Track": High-power lawyer is passed over in favor of people with penises. Yes, we see a few.

Partner Track , on Netflix, is about a high-powered Manhattan lawyer.  Are there lawyers in any other city?   But I couldn't find any gay characters or subtexts, so here goes. Maybe there will be some grey-suit hunks in steam rooms.

Scene 1: We're in NYC!  You can tell because of the shots of Central Park and the Empire State Building.  Close-up of pink high-heeled shoes, eventually are revealed to be Ingrid, a lawyer  in a pink business outfit, standing out amid the throngs of grey-suit men.  She gives some coin to a homeless guy, gets jostled by a grey-suit man, and tells us that this city is tough on a girl who wants to get ahead.

Inside the glass-and-steel building, she meets her friend, a woman in a blue business outfit.  They discuss Ingrid's obsessive drive to be made junior partner at her law firm (ok, partner track, I get it).   It's down to her, Dan , and Todd, but they have penises, so she has to do something spectacular to tip the balance, like land a major account.  

When they arrive upstairs, Dan and Todd, and a third guy, Hunter, can't wait to start their hetero-horny hostile-workplace sexism: "she's got a wide margin on the face-body quotient.  She looks like you from the back, and Dan from the front.  Ugh!"  So the epitome of ugliness is...a man.  Got it! 

The three grey suits don't have any distinguishing characteristics: they are all fratboy-style hunks, they mention sports every 10 seconds, and they think of women as sex toys..  But in case you are interested, they are played by Zane Philips (top photo), Nolan Gerald Funk (left), who often plays gay roles, and Will Stout ("actor, West Virginian, Dad", but no beefcake).

The butts of the guys follow:

Everyone drools over Ultra-Richster, who will decide on the next junior partner.  They have to really butter him up!  

Ingrid rushes to her office, ignores a phone call from her mother, and tells her assistant to gather all the intel needed to wow Ultra-Richster.  

She also meets her new paralegal Justin (Roby Attal), a white dudebro who has his feet on his desk and is busily texting and ignoring his duties.

Left: Nolan's butt. He's having sex with a lady.

Ingrid's friend asks why she was assigned such a terrible paralegal. The answer: since Ingrid is Korean-American, HR thought that assigning her only paralegals of color might be construed as racist, so they got her a white one. Problem: they couldn't find any competent white paralegals.

Friend shoves his feet off the desk and yells: "Ingrid graduated #2 in her class at Harvard Law.  You will show her some respect!"  Oh, please, every lawyer on tv graduated at the top of their class at Harvard Law.

Scene 2:  Out of nowhere, Friend asks "What happened to the Brit you hooked up with long time ago?  You said he was like Bogart from Casablanca?"  Ingrid shrugs.  "It was just a hookup."  "Well, he was just hired by this firm.  A chance for you to get laid, and take your mind off your obsession with becoming partner!"  Why do you care so much?  Are you a standard romcom friend who exists only to goad the big city girl into accepting the small-town hunk? Or, in this case, hunky Brit?

Scene 3:  Ingrid runs into Tyler (Bradley Gibson).  He is wearing a blue suit, so he's a nice guy.  This series is as color-coordinated as an old Western.  He is bragging to someone on his cellphone that he has landed a bunch of accounts, plus he started reading Vogue, Teen Vogue, and Women's Wear Daily when he was 11.  The guy on the phone is impressed, and gives him the account. 

Left: Zane's butt.  He's having sex with a guy.

I thought Tyler would be a standard romcom gay bff,  but he asks Ingrid to "come say hi to the kids at the reception tonight."   Was that thrown in to identify him as heterosexual?  About 20% of gay men have kids, you know.  There are several ways to get the job done that dont require sex with a lady.

Scene 4:  Not looking where she is going, Ingrid has a splat! meet-cute encounter with...you guessed it, the Brit, she used to date, Jeff Murphy (Dominic Sherwood).  He stares in cliched teencom Girl-of-my-dreams lust, but unfortunately he doesn't remember Ingrid from their long-ago hookup.  He was way drunk that night.  Ingrid is way pissed.

Whoops, Brit Jeff was hired at level five, whatever that means, so he's in the running for junior partner, too.  Romance between competitors, a cliched...um, I mean classic romcom trope.

Scene 5: All of the contenders -- Dan, Todd, Brit Jeff, and Ingrid -- watch in amusement as the Richster demolishes fawning acolyte Sanders: "Don't ask if you can ask a fucking question, just ask the fucking question! And don't laugh.  Laughter is a coward's expression of fear."  

They bet on which cliched business phrase Richster will use first.

Scene 6: A meeting.  Who wants to work on getting a corporate merger contract worth $2.9 billion? Wait -- is that the law firm's fee?   Ingrid brags about her qualifications, repeatedly, and is ignored.  He assigns Grey Suit Dan instead.  "And this deal is confidential.  Any leak, and I will fucking tear up your fucking license my fucking self."  

Out in the hallway, Grey Suits Dan assigns Ingrid some grunt work.  She fumes.  Is she going to start murdering these grey suits?

Scene 7: Another meeting. The big boss walks right by Ingrid to shake hands with Dudebro Paralegal Justin, because he has a penis.  Maybe he wants to see it?  Then he orders Ingrid to bring them some wine. She relegates the task to Justin. "Oh...you're the associate?  Sorry...you look so...young."  He means "lacking a penis."  Everybody else arrives, and Ingrid is ignored again as they delve into sports and car metaphors.

Guys demonstrate that they have penises after the break