"Bad Ideas with Adam Devine": When you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry. With bonus buddy bulges and butts

Sometimes you need to f*k the Sadness in a hurry, and your best bet is Adam Devine.  Not (just) because of his hotness, because his stuff is always upbeat, with no hatred, no tragedy, no angst, not a lot of heteronormative mishegas, just whimsical problems, humorous braggadoccio, and homoerotic bonds. 

But you don't have time for a whole movie, or an episode of  Workaholicsor   The Righteous Gemstones. What do you do?

The reality series Bad Ideas with Adam Devine, streaming on Roku, is a perfect solution. In each episode, Adam. "the world's greatest movie star, the world's greatest lover, the guy who clearly writes his own intros," teams up with one of his comedian buddies to do something dangerous:

1. Compete in the World's Hottest Pepper Eating Contest, in the Bahamas. With Thomas Middleditch from Solar Opposites

Tom's backside

2. Compete in a demolition derby, the Night of Destruction, at Perris Auto Speedway, near Riverside, California. With Blake Anderson from Workaholics

Blake bulging as a cop-stripper

3. Become stunt performers in a Western movie (after seven minutes of training). With Rebel Wilson from Pitch Perfect

4. Drive an ice cream truck up highway P3 in Peru, called "the Death Road" for its hairpin turns and 1000 foot drops. With Anders Holm from Workaholics

Anders' bottom, ready to be topped.

5. Clear hundreds of poisonous snakes from a plane in an airplane graveyard. With Brent Morin from Undateable

Brent's underwear bulge

6. Investigate a haunted house and try to conjure a demon.  With WWF wrestler Lana.

7. Become piranha wranglers on the Momon River, near Iquitos in Brazil.  With Anders Holm. Left: Adam accidentally dangles his privates in piranha-invested water.

Anders greeting the day

Adam takes his shirt off or shows a bulge once in a while, but you're too busy watching him riffing  to care (much) about his penis or physique.  Plus there's some beautiful natural scenery.

Each episode runs about 7 minutes, so you could watch the whole series in an hour  But don't.  Save the individual episodes for when you need an Adam Devine  fix.

See also: Workaholics Episode 5.1: Blake becomes a porn star, Ders is into kinky stuff, and Adam is gay

The Outlaws: Adam has a crush on Pierce Brosnan

Adam Devine's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 1: forehead presses, anal poopers, bulging drawers, and Kermit the Frog

Jamar Pusch: A lot of biceps and bulges, an occasional dick, but nothing about the person behind the pecs.

 

A poster on the Brock O'Hurn fan board asked if we were familiar Jamar Pusch: "A top predator for sure."  I wasn't, but I soon got an eyeful: he has enormous quads and delts, moderately ripped abs, and the biggest pecs in bodybuilding history.  The measurements don't seem to be available online, but they have to surpass Arnold Schwarzenegger's 54"   Back when I was a gym rat, I topped out at 48"

Ok, now they've crossed the border into grotesque.  You look like you have boobs, dude.

Jamar is very active on social media. His Instagram, tagged, "King of Pecs," has 757,000 followers

He has several Facebook pages.  The biggest, tagged "Tell me the power of a man," has 121,000 members.

Plus Tiktok videos with 2.8 million views, Youtube videos with 280,000 views, X posts, and no doubt some social media platforms that I'm too old to know about. 

But they're all bicep-flexing and pec-bouncing.  Every one. No travel, no food, no friends, no family, nothing about his life outside the gym.

This was the only picture with an interesting background.  Otherwise it's just his muscles, with an occasional bulge or dick.

Only one website revealed any biographical details: He was born in Hamburg, Germany, on July 6th, 1996, Presumably his ancestry is Indian or Pakistani.  He began training in 2012: this photo shows his development between age 13 and 20

Nor is he listed on the Internet Movie Database, the Broadway Database, male model directories, bodybuilder directories...he doesn't appear to do anything professionally that would involve his face or physique. 

He has two or three porn clips,but not enough to suggest a porn career, or to determine if he is gay or straight.   He doesn't appear to do anything professionally that would involve his penis, either. 

I think he monetizes subscriptions to his videos.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 3.7: The handsome man, queerbaiting, misdirection, and me yelling "What the f*k!" a lot

Previous: Episode 3.6 Continued: Kelvin and Keefe fight, BJ and Stephen fight, and nobody likes hologram Aimee-Leigh

In Episode 3.6, we saw the aftermath of the Judy/BJ and Kelvin/Keefe breakups, with failed reconciliation attempts, a fist fight, and both Kelvin and Judy quitting their jobs at the church.  In this episode, things get even worse.

When I watched the first time, I kept yelling "What the f*k!", being annoyed and then outraged by the constant misdirections, chronological flubs, and queerbaiting. It looked very much like Danny McBride was telling us: "Kelvin and Keefe are straight buddies.  Fooled you!"

But that's impossible.  There were not only 200-plus queer codes, Season 1 and 2 both ended with affirmations of their love.  McBride didn't know if the series would be renewed, so each season finale might be the last we see of the characters.  And what we see is "They are in love," not "Keefe, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend."

Knowing what comes after,  I am going to re-watch this episode, looking for any evidence that suggests that saying "Kelvin and Keefe are just friends" does not mean that "Kelvin and Keefe are just friends."

Title: "Burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."  Exodus 21:25. Fans argued like mad about trying to connect the burn/wound/stripe to the personalities or kidnapping strategies of the Gemstone siblings, but it's a misdirection. The previous verse has the more familiar "eye for eye, tooth for tooth." It just means that the punishment should fit the crime.

Burn for burn and all that:  During the evening of the day of the Aimee-Leigh Hologram debacle, the BJ-Stephen penis fight, and probably the Kelvin-Keefe rocking chair fight, Judy goes to a drug store to buy pain medication for BJ.  On her way home, goons from Peter's militia crunch her car with the Redeemer and grab her. 

Misdirection alert: the trailer makes it look like she is the one crunching. 

Chuck Montgomery tries to trick Jesse, and when that doesn't work, the goons shoot him with a tranquilizer dart.  

Kelvin bangs on the door at Woodpecker's Carpentry, yelling: "Are there any woodworkers in there? I'm looking for Keefe Chambers!"  Now that he's no longer worried about his job at the church, he's free to reconcile with Keefe.    But it's long after hours; the building is dark and deserted. Why would anyone be inside?  Besides, Keefe told Kelvin where he was working; wouldn't he give him his new address and phone number, too?

Imagine if someone were inside: "See, my ex-boyfriend and I had this big fight, and he doesn't want me to have his new number, and I don't know where he's staying...I need to see him...no, I am not a stalker!"

Six militia men wearing scary masks surround Kelvin.  The trailer makes him look paralyzed with fear, but actually he is quite brave, trying to intimidate them and then defend himself.  They punch and hit him, and squirt a toxic liquid into his eyes -- which stings but has no long term effects.  Why does Kelvin need six guys to take him down?  Why does he get a more brutal kidnapping?  I don't know.

Screaming like a woman:  The three siblings are put in what everyone calls a chicken silo, although chickens are housed in coops.  They are tied to chairs, with pillowcases over their heads.  What for?  You don't need to be imprisoned and tied up both.

Fans uncomfortable with the idea of gay relationships noticed that Kelvin's pillowcase resembles the trans pride flag, thereby signaling that he is actually a transgender woman.  Doubtful: Jesse's depicts the cartoon character Maisie Mouse. 

Kelvin yells for help. Uncle Peter enters and asks if he is "screaming like a woman," maybe a dig at his gayness, but more likely because he considers any emotion "like a woman."   He explains that the militia is holding them for ransom.

The handsome man: When Keefe arrives for work the next morning, he sees Kelvin's car with the doors still open, checks the ground for signs of a struggle, and asks his coworkers, "Have you seen The Handsome Man?"  This makes no sense, as Kelvin only visited once, for a few minutes, and most of the carpenters weren't paying attention.

Cut to Amber and BJ noticing that their partners didn't come home last night. Next, Eli, at the office even though he's retired and should be fishing, receives a scary video of Kelvin crying and Judy and Jesse screaming in rage.  The gay one has a "sensitive" reaction. Peter gives the ransom demand.  

Eli goes home and confronts May-May: "Your sons have fucked me over."  She denies that she has anything to do with the kidnapping.

Back at the chicken silo, the siblings complain about the heat and the food, and bicker.  Shouldn't they be praying?  They're religious, right?

Cut to BJ, Amber, Gideon, and Eli discussing the kidnapping with Sheriff Brenda. They were kidnapped in town, so it should be the Rogers Police. Notice that Keefe is not there.  Why didn't Eli call him?  Because his number has changed, because they have broken up, or because he is just a friend, not a partner?

The Freemans arrive.  Tiffany has made dolls of the siblings --very quickly -- "for you to hug and kiss until they come home safe."  She gives the Kelvin doll to Eli.  Same question: Why doesn't she save it for Keefe? Because  they have broken up, or because they were never partners to begin with?

Geography problem: How did they get to Eli's house so fast?  Don't they live in Florida?  

The trailer made it seem like the militia sent the dolls, adding a hint of the paranormal that turned out to be a misdirection.  Still, they look like Gullah Island voodoo dolls: "You can hug and kiss them until your loved ones come home safe.  And if they ever stray, you can make their privates fall off." 

More queerbaiting after the break

Michael Provost: Perennial heterosexual boyfriend with some nude pics and maybe a coming out video

Now I'm collecting Michaels.  

Remember the butts identified as "Michael Provost" in the Gavin Munn photo collection?  I did some research, and discovered that he is an actor born in 1998, in Atlanta or Bridgeport, Connecticut, depending on who you believe, known for Insatiable, The Holdovers, Lucifer, and Fear Street.  

Also he's apparently gay.  TikTok has a number of videos dedicated to "Michael Provost" coming out.  So let's check for gay roles or subtexts.

The Case for Christ (2017). Probably not.

Lucifer Episode 4.8 (2019).  Reformed Big Bad Amenadiel(D.B. Woodside) mentors Michael's Nate Mifflin, whose parents are divorcing. Nope.

Insatiable (2018-19): a girl who is bullied for being fat becomes thin and sets out to get revenge and win a beauty pageant Bob Armstrong(Brett Rice), her beauty pageant mentor, has a long, slow, painful coming-out. and begins dating long-term antagonist Bob Barnard  (Christopher Gorham).  

Michael plays Brick Armstrong, Bob's son, who is heterosexual: he has an affair with an older woman before settling down with the formerly-fat girl.  He does get several semi-nude and rear nudity scenes.

Saving Zoe (2019).  A girl named Echo and her boyfriend, Michael, investigate the murder of her older sister.  Nope.

Most Guys are Losers (2020). College boy Michael seeks the approval of his girlfriend's dad, who wrote a book, Most Guys are Losers.  Nope.

Plan B: When a girl's crush, Michael, leaves a party with another girl, she gets even by having sex with a loser, and has to track down a Plan B, post-coitus contraceptive, before she gets pregnant. There's a lesbian character, but Michael is straight.

Fear Street:Two sisters at a summer camp in 1978.  One has sex with Michael.  

It's not looking good so far.  I'll just check one more.

The Holdovers (2023). "Holdovers" are people who have to stay at a fancy prep school during the 1970  Christmas holiday: A cranky Classics teacher, a grieving cook, and some students, including jock Jason (Michael).  Two youtube guys with the bizarre name "the gay homosexuals" promise spoilers, but the first 10 minutes of their 30-minute review didn't reveal any gay subtexts. But Jason gets a girlfriend, quite a feat in an all-boy school.

More Michael after the break.  Warning: Explicit

The naked press bro on the bus with "The Girls on the Bus"

 

I wasn't planning to watch The Girls on the Bus, on Netflix:  a political satire about lady journalists covering a flawed presidential campaign.  Politics are at the bottom of my list of interests, and four ladies bonding won't leave much time for guys. But then I found a scene in Episode 1.6 where Peter Kendall, playing a "Press Bro," jumps out of a stalled bus naked and runs around, giving us frontal and rear shots. 

I wanted the full story. Is he being chased?  Did he see something he shouldn't have?  Did a jealous boyfriend catch him in the act?

The girls are Sadie, who writes for the New York Times...um, Sentinel; Grace, a seasoned career journalist from a previous generation; Kimberly, who works for the racist Fox...I mean Liberty News Network, even though she's black; and social media influencer Lola.

Scene 1: The scene of the guy running naked from the bus while the voice over tells us about the importance of debating issues: "This country was founded on argument."  Inside the bus, the journalists are drinking, screaming, bouncing into each other, eating sandwiches, squirting whipped cream, and laughing hysterically, like a frat party on crack.  

Scene 2: Six hours earlier. Sadie the print journalist and Grace the veteran are in a hotel room, examining billionaires for scandals that they can use to take them down.  Meanwhile, Lola the social influencer and her girlfriend are smooching and discussing the clothes they will need for the upcoming trip to a candidate debate in Minnesota. Hey, when I searched for gay or lesbian characters in this show, Autostraddle complained that there were none!   

Lola's manager calls to ask why she hasn't posted for six hours: she needs to be pushing the alcoholic whipped cream, or she'll lose her sponsers, and her $5,000 a week spot at the Clubhouse.  Lola tries to explain that she's been networking, as her girlfriend smooches all over her.

How many girls are there on this thing?  IMDB says that there are only four, but I've counted six so far, and no boys.

Scene 3:  Sadie the newspaper journalist is interviewing Benji about how he is going to capitalize on Walker's victory in South Carolina. He answers with vague doublespeak. Malcolm (Brandon Scott), her ex-boyfriend, accuses her of trying to make him look bad by interrogating his boss. 

She explains that their romance was a conflict of interest, so now everything she says about Walker, the presidential candidate, is suspect.  She can't  be seen talking to him, or she'll be fired.

Left: Brandon Scott's backside.

Scene 4: Waiting to board the bus for the Minnesota presidential debate, Kimmy, the racist-news broadcaster, tells her on-air partner how they can get more airtime: show her boobs.  He disagrees. The other girls discuss their romantic entanglements. 

Uh-oh, Malcolm is getting on the bus. There are lots of other ways to get to Minnesota, so his ex Sadie concludes he is there just to mess with her.

More after the break

Michael Fassbender and Rainier Fassbinder: The unbearable agony of gay life, with dicks and butts

Through an internet rabbit hole too convoluted to explain, I set about to research David Boreanaz, and ended up with nude photos of Michael Fassbender -- from 2007.

Every gay person coming out in the 1980s knew about Michael Fassbender, the German director who specialized in movies about the "unbearable agony of gay life" -- thieves, hustlers, derelicts, outcasts, wandering through industrial wastelands in search of sex or death, both unattainable, hooking up with straight men in the hope that this time, finally, they have met their murderer.

Who could forget Brad Davis, ripped, sweaty, and bulging, as the doomed sailor/murderer Querelle.  "Each man kills the things he loves".

Then there were Fox and His Friends, Despair,  In a Year of 13 Moons, Germany in Autumn, Berlin Alexanderplatz...

Whoops, sorry, that was Rainer Werner Fassbinder, who died in 1982.

Although he does show his penis in Germany in Autumn(1978). 

The new guy is Michael Fassbender -- no connection -- born in Germany in 1977 and raised in Ireland, with 63 acting credits on IMDB, including two Oscar nominations. 

I think I've only seen him in the X-Men franchise, where he plays Erik Lensherr, a Holocaust survivor who has a gay-subtext romance with Charles Xavier before becoming his enemy as the supervillain Magneto.  But he has played several canonical gay-ish characters.

In Shame, 2011, Michael plays a business executive who has sex with multiple female partners several times a day, even when he should be doing other things, like helping his sister out of a jam.  One night after he is beat up by the boyfriend of the woman he just screwed, he goes to a sleazy, decadent gay bar and gets a blow job from a guy in the back room.  

Got it, gay men are still wandering through industrial wastelands, eternal outsiders, eternally depressed. But we see his dick.  And his butt, top photo.

More agony after the break

Eight staunch Scotsmen with right proper stauners under their sporrans

Since Baby Reindeer features a Scotch comedian trapped in London, and one of Robert Oberst's strong men was Scottish, I figured it was time for some Scots studs. 

A kilt malfunction in Edinburgh.

Pub mates in St. Andrews, site of the most prestigious university in Scotland.

Pub mate stauner -- a semi. 

St. Andrews prof explores his kinky side.

There are about 60,000 Scots Gaelic speakers in Scotland, mostly in the Hebrides.  You often hear it spoken in Stornoway, on the Isle of Lewis.

Vietnamese-Scots chub from Stornoway, skittish about showing his tadger.

The Callanish Stones, Lewis

More Scotsmen after the break. Warning: explicit.