Previous: Gemstones Episode 4.3, Continued: Vance is homophobic, Jesse is sad, and Kelvin is doomed. With Ryan, Vance, and Hamlet d*cks
Welcome to Galilee Gulch. Baby Billy water-skiing naked, extensive shots of his dong and butt that made some viewers mad. "Why we got to see that? Why can't we see Amber's stuff? Every man on Earth, without exception, loves looking at breasts!" Um...you've heard about gay men, right?
Then the Gemstones and Milsaps arrive at Galilee Gulch, a huge "lake house" on Lake Marion, about an hour north of Charleston. Coincidentally, the house where they filmed is owned by a gay couple.
Pontius complains; Gideon tells him to not disrespect the lake house, and makes him carry a bag. He says "Get a life, you dork!" Abraham agrees: "Such a little ass-kiss." Abraham has only two lines this season, both about butts. Got something on your mind, Buddy?
Some cute attendants, who aren't in the cast list, take care of the wheelchair-using BJ, who complains that the whole place is inaccessible. He'll be constantly complaining about everything through the episode.
Keefe wants to go waterskiing naked, like Uncle Baby Billy, but Kelvin doesn't want to hang dong with his uncle. Then he forces Keefe to carry the gigantic trunk full of shoes into the house. That's no way to treat your partner, buddy. At least he calls Keefe "Sweetheart."
The Breakup Plan: Uncle Baby Billy disapproves of the Eli-Lori relationship -- we aren't told why, but maybe he knows something from Lori's past -- and pushes the siblings into a plan to break them up. The siblings point out that they arranged this weekend retreat because the lake house is full of Aimee-Leigh's things, and will certainly cause Eli to feel guilty about "abandoning Mama." Maybe they can push things along.
They tell the staff to leave Aimee-Leigh's clothes in Eli's bedroom. Angry, he calls "the help" and has them all moved into Kelvin and Keefe's room.
Kelvin is pretending to read the complete works of William Shakespeare. Another clue that we're in the middle of Hamlet.
To refresh your memory: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, uses a "play within a play" to reveal that his mother and uncle, Gertrude and Claudius, murdered his father the King and stole his throne. He kills his trusted advisor; his girlfriend commits suicide; Gertrude is poisoned; he kills Claudius, then dies himself. "The rest is silence."
The New Nanny: Baby Billy is being nasty to his wife and children ("Get them out of here!"), and expresses his hatred for the butch Germanic nanny, Sola (Kirsten Schultze). So why not fire her?
Gideon is Gay: Friday dinner. Kelvin, Keefe, Abraham, and BJ are playing blackjack, the others sitting around a kitchen island. Jesse gets jealous because Gideon is sitting next to Eli, and they shared a joke.
Jesse is treating Gideon as a romantic partner who is cheating on him. That is not really happening, of course, but it is heavily implied that Gideon is gay, for the first time since Season 1. There are queer codes about Pontius and Abraham, too. It's starting to look like Jesse has three gay sons.
Corey apologizes for his reaction to Eli/Lori, and brings in 100 pounds of barbecued pork.
More after the break.
