English Teacher, on Hulu, stars Brian Jordan Alvarez as an old-school gay guy in a world that's moved on. He doesn't understand nonbinary, asexual, pansexual, and the other "queer" identities of his high school students, and expects everybody to be homophobic. And they are, sort of, expressing stereotypes and misinformation but completely nonchalant about the gay teacher in their midst. I reviewed Season 1, Episode 8, the season finale: "Birthday"
Teaser: Student Eddie (Blaise Reyes, right) reveals to Evan (Brian Jordan Alvarez) that he's gay, but afraid to come out to anyone. Evan is dumfounded: It's 2024, just go out in the hall and say "I'm gay." Talk to one of the 200 out gay students. Living in a fantasy world, dude? Over 90% of LGBT students report hearing homophobic slurs at school. over half bullying and harassment, and 12% assault.
"But not the unspecified queer students -- they're mostly straight. Find a real gay, queeny." It's a gay guy giving him this homophobic advice.
Evan doesn't want to go out: Evan's queeny ex-boyfriend Malcolm (Jordan Firstman) -- think Jack to Will on Will and Grace -- is planning a birthday blowout at a "leather daddy bar," because he'll be 35, and somebody needs to "s*ck your cock." (that's how the subtitles phrase it). Evan doesn't want to go, for reasons.
.jpg)
The parking lot: Tom of Austin, with a gigantic sign. Evan is wearing a ridiculous vinyl shirt and gym shorts, afraid that one of the parents will see him and get upset. Any parent that sees him in a leather daddy bar will be fine with it. He's about to call it off and go home, when he's cruised by a muscular hippie -- maybe it will be ok.
Left: the hippie is not listed on the IMDB
Surprise! All of his work colleagues are there.
At the bar: The standard straight-person-at-a-gay-bar things happen. The Principal (Enrico Colantoni) gets groped repeatedly by a leather guy who won't take "no" for an answer, and tries not to look at the fisting videos on every tv set: "it's two men!" What did you expect, dude?
It's actually not a leather bar. Some shirtless daddies around, but also some swishy twinks, and the bartender is a woman wearing cat ears.
The homophobic-ish Coach (Sean Patton) -- the kind who says "you can't help being a swishy queen. I got your back" -- runs into his old high school teammate, Chuck (David Shae), and is shocked to discover that he is gay, or as he puts it, "I sleep with men." A gay guy at a gay bar? Who'd have guessed?
More after the break
Left: David Shae's butt.
Everybody is so friendly to "Classic Bear" Coach that he's not upset when he discovers that they all want to have sex with him. "It's actually flattering -- but imagine if I was gay, I'd have to have sex with all of them. It would suck to suck that much."
"If you were gay, you would like it," Evan points out.
"No, I wouldn't. Even if I was super-gay, even gayer than you, I wouldn't like sex with guys." You'd be just in it for the prancing?
The hypersexual-ish Gwen (Stephanie Koenig) is newly separated and anxious to get laid. She is crushed when no one is interested. "Why don't any of the guys in this gay bar want to have sex with me? I must be unattractive."
In desperation she grabs a microphone and sings "It's Gay City Town. Everybody loves gays." Then she addresses the crowd: "Do you know how hot men find me? Why haven't any of you even stared at my cleavage?" She must think that gay means "swishy heterosexual."
Rick learns about poppers from Evan's "best friend," who he actually met once: "See, when you're bottoming..."
He likes them -- they will be "the next new thing." He'll sell them at a 200% markup. Somebody teach the dude some gay history. Poppers were big in the 1970s, but banned in the 1980s: it seems that most of the guys who used poppers were having unprotected sex, so "obviously" the poppers were spreading HIV.
Harry (Langston Kernan), the physics teacher, whom Evan finds attractive, but he's not allowed to date anyone from school after the events of Episode 1, flirts with him. Or you could find somebody else in this bar full of gay men.
Ex-Boyfriend Malcolm, who is still into Evan, performs a stripping number for him, then pulls Harry to the stage. Coach has noticed that Evan likes Harry, and encourages him to "get up there and plant your flag." But he goes up and -- big reveal -- kisses Malcolm!
"I meant the other guy, dude!"
After the Party: Malcolm goes to an orgy, so Evan drives home with the other teachers. They stop at a fast-food place. The Principal is proud of him for kissing an ex-teacher instead of the forbidden Harry. The Coach thinks it should have been Harry. These people are deeply invested in Evan's love live, way more invested than I am.
As they're eating their burgers in Gwen's back yard, Malcolm shows up to cuddle with Evan, and Gwen and her husband announce that they're back together.
Beefcake: Some shirtless guys.
Gay Characters: Of course.
My Grade: I found the episode cringy and uncomfortable. You just know that the gays are going to be predatory and latch onto the straight guys, who will try to be "tolerant" while freaking out inside. But at least only the principal freaks out. The others are like, "Guys want to be with me? How flattering!" C
Bonus: Brian Jordan Alvarez. It looks like a photoshop, but it's really him with an odd facial angle.
Gemstones Episode 2.2: Kelvin clinches, Keefe dances, and everybody flirts with Eli. With scenes in Texas
No comments:
Post a Comment